My Foot Got Stuck in the Carseat: A Parenting Memoir (cont.) x2

Ch. 3: You Wish!

Kids say the darndest things!

What’choo talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?!
Eat my shorts!
How you doin’?
You got it dude!

And now, You Wish!!

And not the charming, “As you wish…” from The Princess Bride. But a very snarky 2 syllables often used at time where it makes no sense, or worse, when it does make sense, but makes you violent (see ch. 1).

pbride(photo cred:

E1 (as we shall call him) was all about this phrase. Where did it come from? No one knows. Even he has no idea. It made his mother crazy. The other kids imitated him, but never with as much chutzpah as E1.

Any adult in the house: “Hey kids, you want some lunch?
E1: “You wish!”
(not really because if the answer is no, then I can eat first which is AWESOME!)

Any adult in the house: “Has anyone seen E2’s pacifier?”
E1: “You wish!”
(well yes actually, I do, he’s crying and wants it)

Any adult in the house: “Spaghetti for dinner tonight!”
E1: “You wish!”
(no, I know!)

Any adult in the house: “Hey kids, Full House is on in the playroom!”
E1: “You wish!”
(OK, seriously. STOP now!)

And so on, and so forth.

There were only 2 things that were remotely comical about 2, 947 time E1 said this. The first was that several times he appeared to not be paying attention to the conversation at all. Then that voice would ring out from behind the game of Minecraft (which BTW is a whole addendum to the book– what they heck is that all about anyway?! No really, I’d like to know as now my kid is obsessed!) The second funny thing was that sometimes we could use his own catchphrase on him to great effect.

E1: “I don’t want to clean up Legos! I want to keep playing!
EVERY adult in the house: “You wish!”

Once or twice it elicited a rather impressive dirty look for such a young person, which was HILARIOUS! Bazinga!

And this debacle is nothing new– our kids have all had a catchphrase from time to time that they used incessantly. I’ve had kids in my class do it. It’s a kid thing. Eventually it goes away on it’s own, though usually because it has been replaced by a new catchphrase. Maybe this time E1 will pick up, “Yes most charming mother in the entire known universe… I will do everything you ask the first time with no argument or selective hearing (which remember I got from my father)… my will is at your command!”

E1: “You wish!”

Up next~ ch. 4: I’m NOT Going to the ER for Stitches Tonight!


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